Happy C

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Declan O’Flaherty

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

For years I lived an uneventful existence. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t unhappy either. I was just sort of stuck.

I had a good career, earned lots of money, and I had great friends and a loving family. You would think that this doesn’t sound too bad, but I felt unfulfilled and unmotivated. I repeatedly lived each day like the one before.

I looked around me and saw that everybody within my own circle of friends, relatives, and immediate family were no different. They too seemed stuck. They seemed unmotivated—like they were living their lives on automatic pilot.

I began to question why this was. Why do so many people just accept this pattern as normal, as if this is the way it is supposed to be?

I read hundreds of books on philosophy, psychology, and spirituality. I continued with this for a couple of years until I gradually I began to see things with greater clarity. I began to wake up. Then one day, out of the blue it just hit me, like a ton of bricks.

The key to unlocking my prison door was not contained in any books I read (although they did help me somewhat). It was in my ability to accept what “is” in this moment. So I now I make that choice.

Here are 8 tips to help you make that choice:

Most of the time we have no idea what we are supposed to be doing, or who we are supposed to be imitating. I say “imitating” because this is what we do: We conform to the external environment.

We play roles and cover up our true selves by identifying with “things” that end up defining who we think we are. I’m a doctor, a salesperson, a secretary, a lawyer; I’m sad, happy, lonely, or miserable. I’m angryjealous, afraid, and I can’t help it—it’s who I am.

The truth is, though, we are none of those things. They are symptoms of the sleepwalking disease. You are more important than any label. We are not our professions. We are not our feelings. We are not our circumstances. We are not even our mind.

What we are is far greater, far superior, far more important, and far more mysterious than our conceptual mind tries to define. This is why we are far more powerful than we think we are.

Let go and embrace the moment, whether it contains an obstacle or an opportunity. Stop fussing over trivial matters and start focusing on what’s really important to you.

Don’t go through life expecting things to change. Life becomes hard and unfair when we decide to complain about things rather than trying to change them ourselves. Wake up to the truth that life is not a practice-run.

Be bold and courageous, and make decisions that benefit your growth. Put yourself on your imaginary death-bed and realize that time stands still for no one. Start as soon as possible to make any necessary changes you may need to.

Take the first step before more time gradually passes by while you stand still stagnating. Your choice. Your life. Your responsibility. Your power.

We create our outside reality by the thoughts and beliefs we maintain about life in general. What we believe in our inner world, we see in our outer world—not the other way around.

We all have problems, and we’re often tested by circumstances outside of our control. Even though you may not be in control of what’s going on outside of you, you most definitely can control your reaction to those situations.

We have the power because our inner world (cause) affects the influence we allow the outer world (effect) to have on us. So next time you hear somebody mention that you have great personal power, know they are 100% correct. You have more control than you think.

We place far too much emphasis on other people’s opinions about us, often to the exclusion of our own. This takes away from our own personal power. No matter what anybody says about you, it doesn’t hold any significance to who you truly are unless you identify or agree with them.

Stop identifying with other people’s opinions and become aware of how you see yourself. Nobody knows you better than you do. Never accept another person’s reality as your own. Always believe that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. And, most importantly, never let another person’s opinion of you affect what you believe about yourself.

If you have to compare yourself to someone else, let it be a person who is less fortunate, and let it be a lesson to learn just how abundant your life truly is. It’s just a matter of perspective.

You may find that you are not entirely grateful for what you possess. You may believe that you need more than you have right now to be happy. If this is the case, then you are absolutely right—you will need more, and you will continue to need more.

This cycle will perpetuate as long as your mind believes it to be true. If you focus on what you have, and not on what you lack, you will always have enough, because you will always be enough.

You have arrived. Everything you need is right here. Cut out the distractions, open your eyes, and see that you already have everything in your possession to be happy, loved, and fulfilled.

It’s not out there. It never was out there. It’s in the same place it was since the day you were born. It’s just been covered up by all the external things you have identified with over the years.

Be yourself. Love yourself completely and accept everything that you are. You are beautiful. Believe it, and most importantly, remind yourself often.

If someone cuts us off in traffic or skips the queue at our local cinema, we may feel our blood pressure begin to rise and feel the need to react in a negative manner. We get uptight with other people’s actions, and in the end we punish ourselves for their bad behavior.

We and up losing control over our own actions because of the way other people act. But we are responsible for our own action, regardless of how rude other people may act. If it’s hard to stay cool, remember: you are the one who loses in the end, if you lose the lesson.

We know life is about the journey and not the arrival. We don’t need to arrive if we accept that we are already here.

Be content with where you are today and don’t make the mistake of putting off being happy because you are waiting for the right moment to shine. Sometimes it takes a conscious effort to enjoy the journey.

Not everyone woke up this morning and not everyone will go to bed tonight. Life has no guarantees. Every minute you are living is a blessing that has to be experienced in the moment. It’s not always easy, but it’s always an option—a choice. Your choice.


You are someone special … I always admire!!

I talk to you

I scold you

You are always there standing and waiting for me

Rain or Shine you are there for me

You make sure that I reach my destination safely!!

I always feel as if am in safe hands

There were times when I really needed you more than anything else

I trust you and you trust me.

You are the only one who knows my true- me!!

And you are the only you understands my silence and emotions

You understand my mixed feelings at different situations

I love you and thank you to be  my part of my daily life.

My Dear – Honda Activa

{May 15, 2011}   Why you re (am) single ?

{May 15, 2011}   This Too Shall Pass

Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them, ” Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstances, in every place and in every time. In every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory? One answer for all questions? Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me? Tell me is there any mantra?”

All the wise men were puzzled by the King’s question. They thought and thought. After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper, with a condition that the king was not to see it out of curiosity.

Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he can see it. The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.

Some time later, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. The King had to flee on his horse. The enemies were following him. getting closer and closer. Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road – that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished…and he could not return because it was a small road…the sound of enemy’s horses was approaching fast. The King became restless. There seemed to be no way.

Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring. He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was – ” THIS TOO SHALL PASS”

The King read it . Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes ! This too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone. I am here trying to escape from enemies. Like those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. A calm came on his face. He kept standing there. The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom.

The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were near him.

The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fanfare. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory.

Everyone was in a festive mood. Flowers were being showered on King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself,” I am one of the bravest and greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me. With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.

Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He open it and read it again: “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”.

He became silent. His face went through a total change – from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness. If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by. We are witnesses of all this. We are the perceivers. Life comes and goes. Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.

Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. This too will pass. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent ? They all come and pass away.

Life just passes away. There is nothing permanent in this world. Every thing changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away. The problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever. Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin. They both will pass away.

You are just a witness of change. Experience it, understand it, and enjoy the present moment – this too shall pass!

{May 13, 2011}   DO IT NOW

Now – DO IT NOW 

if you have hardwork to do – Do it now.Yesterday is not for you – Do it now

If you have song to sing -Sing it now. Let each day some music bring-Sing it now

If you have some kind words to say-Say it now. Loved ones will not always stay- Say them now.

If you have a smile to show- Show it now. The Love you have before they go -show it now

LOVE ME – Letter from a mother to her daughter

if you are ever going to love me

Love me now while I can know

The sweet and tender feeling which from the affection flow

Love me now

While am living

Do not wait until am gone

And then have it chiseled in marble

Sweet words on ice cold stone

{May 13, 2011}   Drive for life

Joys of solitude 

1. Dont feel sorry for yourself

2. Search out the joys of solitude

3. Accept your solitude as true to grow.

4. Deepen your life

5. Love – Respect and ENJOY yourself 

Enthusiasm on Target

1. Learn to believe in yourself

2. Learn to believe in other people

3. Learn to believe in your job 

4. We must have some ideals to believe in.

Your Life 

Do new things 

Learn new things

Visit new places

Develop new attitude 

{May 13, 2011}   Ask Questions

How self Assured are you?

1. Develop interest in others 

2. Accept yourself

3. The Right clothes help

4. Pursue your education

5. Travel as much as you can

6. Keep Relaxed

Know yourself:

1. What is my reason for being alive? AM i just taking up space on earth or do I have a purpose in life.

2. What to I hope to achieve in life? Is my aim just to make money? Is my aim to find satisfaction in my job? It is essential getting to know ourselves to face up to our basic aim.

3. Have I made progress so far towards my goal? Have I kept my aim clearly in front of me.

4. What resources have i to achieve my aim? 

5. What is my attitude towards other people?

6. Am I happy? If am happy or afraid what is the reason?

{May 13, 2011}   T-Day – Roadside Tea shop

It was a typical Friday evening, the software Engineers rushing back  home from office. It had rained, bangalore was in its own shine.We were there crazy to  experience this so called T day the local Tea shop. The caption was the conclusions happen here. I am not sure on this :). There were 3 tables & chairs, precisely all were already occupied. one table had a fat guy waiting for his client- was looking like insurance agent, The other table had 2 young guys talking about their love and gal friend, probably from school. Finally we managed to get the place close to the road – the view was opposite to the Bus stand. I am not here on the discussion on if tea is better or the coffee. Both have its own charm on different situations / breaks.We ordered for the Veg cutlet and Tea. The Veg cutlet had its own taste and decently toasted, tea was simply amazing. Except for the mosquitos,we could experience the real taste of tea at this local Tea shop.

It was much better than the coffee day wherein we pay the major amount for a/c and the brand, get the very less coffee taste. 


                          – Helen Steiner Rice

Often your tasks will be many,
And more than you think you can do.
Often the road will be rugged
And the hills insurmountable, too.
But always remember,
The hills ahead
Are never as steep as they seem,
And with Faith in your heart
Start upward
And climb ’til you reach your dream.
For nothing in life that is worthy
Is ever too hard to achieve
If you have the courage to try it,
And you have the faith to believe.
For faith is a force that is greater
Than knowledge or power or skill,
And many defeats turn to triumph
If you trust in God’s wisdom and will.
For faith is a mover of mountains,
There’s nothing that God cannot do,
So, start out today with faith in your heart,
And climb ’til your dream comes true!

How to Be Just Assertive Enough

by Kellye Whitney | Talent Management

In order to be a good boss, it’s important for managers to learn to be assertive, but not so assertive that one becomes unbearable or unapproachable. Adapted from Robert Sutton’s Good Boss, Bad Boss, here are a few tricks managers can use to help them take charge of their direct reports or gain influence in a crowd without crossing the line into bad boss territory.

1. Talk more than others – but not all the time.

This is sometimes called the blabbermouth theory of leadership where people who talk first and most often are viewed as influential. A manager should not dominate all conversations or risk being viewed as a bully.

2. Interrupt people occasionally.

People gain power by winning interruption wars, interjecting and battling back when others try to interrupt. Managers should interrupt occasionally if needed to keep a group on task or to remind employees who holds the final word, but avoid being interrupted themselves.

3. Be cognizant of physical presence.

For instance, when people cross their arms, they often persist in an argument longer and generate more solutions. Crossing the arms boosts confidence, but over doing it can come off as uptight or unapproachable.

4. Flash anger now and then.

Studies by Stanford professor Larissa Tiedens showed using anger strategically gives the impression that the expresser is competent. But constant anger can undermine a manager’s authority and likely will earn that individual a reputation as a jerk.

5. Not sure whether to sit down or stand up? Stand up.

This is especially important for a new boss. Standing up signals to the group who is in charge and encourages others to accept that individuals’ authority. A manager should position himself or herself at the head of the table to cement that authority.

6. Ask direct reports what they need to succeed, then give it to them.

This may seem like an obvious management tactic, but it’s rarely done. If it’s not possible to meet all of an employee’s requests, meet some of them. Make an effort.

7. Share pet peeves and quirks.

New bosses should write a “Managerial User’s Manual” for a team identifying his or her preferences, work and communication style, anger triggers and things that may otherwise by mysterious or unclear.

8. Give away power or status sometimes, but be sure everyone knows it was a deliberate choice.

A manager can show that he or she is powerful by accepting or even bargaining for some status symbol and then giving it away.

et cetera